I was raped and stabbed in the womb on my wedding day! Female pastor narrates

When Terry Gobanga – then Terry Apudo – didn’t show up to her wedding, nobody could have guessed that she had been abducted, r*ped and left for dead by the roadside. It was the first of two tragedies to hit the young Nairobi pastor in quick succession. But she is a survivor.

Read her story below;

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It was going to be a very big wedding. I was a pastor, so all our church members were coming, as well as all our relatives. My fiance, Harry, and I were very excited – we were getting married in All Saints Cathedral in Nairobi and I had rented a beautiful dress.

But the night before the wedding I realised that I had some of Harry’s clothes, including his cravat. He couldn’t show up without a tie, so a friend who had stayed the night offered to take it to him first thing in the morning. We got up at dawn and I walked her to the bus station.

As I was making my way back home, I walked past a guy sitting on the bonnet of a car – suddenly he grabbed me from behind and dumped me in the back seat. There were two more men inside, and they drove off. It all happened in a fraction of a second.

A piece of cloth was stuffed in my mouth. I was kicking and hitting out and trying to scream. When I managed to push the gag out, I screamed: “It’s my wedding day!” That was when I got the first blow. One of the men told me to “co-operate or you will die”.

The men took turns to r*pe me. I felt sure I was going to die, but I was still fighting for my life, so when one of the men took the gag out of my mouth I bit his manhood. He screamed in pain and one of them stabbed me in the stomach. Then they opened the door and threw me out of the moving car.

I was miles from home, outside Nairobi. More than six hours had passed since I had been abducted.

A child saw me being thrown out and called her grandmother. People came running. When the police came they tried to get a pulse, but no-one could. Thinking I was dead, they wrapped me in a blanket and started to take me to the mortuary. But on the way there, I choked on the blanket and coughed.

The policeman said: “She’s alive?” And he turned the car around and drove me to the biggest government hospital in Kenya.

I arrived in great shock, murmuring incoherently. I was half-unclad and covered in blood, and my face was swollen from being punched. But something must have alerted the matron, because she guessed I was a bride. “Let’s go around the churches to see if they’re missing a bride,” she told the nurses.

By coincidence, the first church they called at was All Saints Cathedral. “Are you missing a bride?” the nurse asked.

The minister said: “Yes, there was a wedding at 10 o’clock and she didn’t come.”

When I didn’t show up to the church, my parents were panicking. People were sent out to search for me. Rumours flew. Some wondered: “Did she change her mind?” Others said: “No, it’s so unlike her, what happened?”

After a few hours, they had to take down the decorations to make room for the next ceremony. Harry had been put in the vestry to wait.

When they heard where I was, my parents came to the hospital with the whole entourage. Harry was actually carrying my wedding gown. But the media had also got wind of the story so there were reporters too.

I was moved to another hospital where I’d have more privacy. That was where the doctors stitched me up and gave me some devastating news: “The stab wound went deep into your womb, so you won’t be able to carry any children.”

I was given the morning-after pill, as well as antiretroviral drugs to protect me from HIV and Aids. My mind shut down, it refused to accept what had happened.

Harry kept saying he still wanted to marry me. “I want to take care of her and make sure she comes back to good health in my arms, in our house,” he said. Truth be told, I wasn’t in a position to say Yes or No because my mind was so jammed with the faces of the three men, and with everything that had happened.

Harry Olwande and Terry on their wedding day in July 2005

A few days later, when I was less sedated, I was able to look him in the eye. I kept saying sorry. I felt like I had let him down. Some people said it was my own fault for leaving the house in the morning. It was really hurtful, but my family and Harry supported me.

The police never caught the defilers. I went to line-up after line-up but I didn’t recognise any of the men, and it hurt me each time I went. It set back my recovery – it was 10 steps forward, 20 back. In the end I went back to the police station and said: “You know what, I’m done. I just want to leave it.”

Three months after the attack I was told I was HIV-negative and got really excited, but they told me I had to wait three more months to be sure. Still, Harry and I began to plan our second wedding.

Although I had been very angry at the press intrusion, somebody read my story and asked to meet me. Her name was Vip Ogolla, and she was also a r*pe survivor. We spoke, and she told me she and her friends wanted to give me a free wedding. “Go wild, have whatever you want,” she said.

I was ecstatic. I went for a different type of cake, much more expensive. Instead of a rented gown, now I could have one that was totally mine.

In July 2005, seven months after our first planned wedding, Harry and I got married and went on a honeymoon.

Twenty-nine days later, we were at home on a very cold night. Harry lit a charcoal burner and took it to the bedroom. After dinner, he removed it because the room was really warm. I got under the covers as he locked up the house. When he came to bed he said he was feeling dizzy, but we thought nothing of it.

It was so cold we couldn’t sleep, so I suggested getting another duvet. But Harry said he couldn’t get it as he didn’t have enough strength. Strangely, I couldn’t stand up either. We realised something was very wrong. He passed out. I passed out. I remember coming to. I would call him.

At times he would respond, at other times he wouldn’t. I pushed myself out of bed and threw up, which gave me some strength. I started crawling to the phone. I called my neighbour and said: “Something is wrong, Harry is not responding.”

She came over immediately but it took me ages to crawl to the front door to let her in as I kept passing out. I saw an avalanche of people coming in, screaming. And I passed out again.

I woke up in hospital and asked where my husband was. They said they were working on him in the next room. I said: “I’m a pastor, I’ve seen quite a lot in my life, I need you to be very straight with me.” The doctor looked at me and said: “I’m sorry, your husband did not make it.”

I couldn’t believe it.

Going back to church for the funeral was terrible. Just a month earlier I had been there in my white dress, with Harry standing at the front looking handsome in his suit. Now, I was in black and he was being wheeled in, in a casket.

People thought I was cursed and held back their children from me. “There’s a bad omen hanging over her,” they said. At one point, I actually believed it myself.

Others accused me of killing my husband. That really got me down – I was grieving.

The post-mortem showed what really happened: as the carbon monoxide filled his system, he started choking and suffocated.

I had a terrible breakdown. I felt let down by God, I felt let down by everybody. I couldn’t believe that people could be laughing, going out and just going about life. I crashed.

One day I was sitting on the balcony looking at the birds chirping away and I said: “God, how can you take care of the birds and not me?” In that instant I remembered there are 24 hours a day – sitting in depression with your curtains closed, no-one’s going to give you back those 24 hours. Before you know, it’s a week, a month, a year wasted away. That was a tough reality.

I told everybody I would never ever get married again. God took my husband, and the thought of ever going through such a loss again was too much. It’s something I wouldn’t wish on anybody. The pain is so intense, you feel it in your nails.

But there was one man – Tonny Gobanga – who kept visiting. He would encourage me to talk about my husband and think about the good times. One time he didn’t call for three days and I was so angry. That’s when it hit me that I had fallen for him.

Tonny proposed marriage but I told him to buy a magazine, read my story and tell me if he still loved me. He came back and said he still wanted to marry me.

But I said: “Listen, there’s another thing – I can’t have children, so I cannot get married to you.”

“Children are a gift from God,” he said. “If we get them, Amen. If not, I will have more time to love you.”

I thought: “Wow, what a line!” So I said Yes.

Tonny went home to tell his parents, who were very excited, until they heard my story. “You can’t marry her – she is cursed,” they said. My father-in-law refused to attend the wedding, but we went ahead anyway. We had 800 guests – many came out of curiosity.

It was three years after my first wedding, and I was very scared. When we were exchanging vows, I thought: “Here I am again Father, please don’t let him die.” As the congregation prayed for us I cried uncontrollably.

A year into our marriage, I felt unwell and went to the doctor – and to my great surprise he told me that I was pregnant.

As the months progressed I was put on total bed rest, because of the stab wound to my womb. But all went well, and we had a baby girl who we called Tehille. Four years later, we had another baby girl named Towdah.

Today, I am the best of friends with my father-in-law.

I wrote a book, Crawling out of Darkness, about my ordeal, to give people hope of rising again. I also started an organisation called Kara Olmurani. We work with r*pe survivors, as I call them – not r*pe victims. We offer counselling and support. We are looking to start a halfway 

house for them where they can come and find their footing before going back to face the world.

I have forgiven my attackers. It wasn’t easy but I realised I was getting a raw deal by being upset with people who probably don’t care. My faith also encourages me to forgive and not repay evil with evil but with good.

The most important thing is to mourn. Go through every step of it. Get upset until you are willing to do something about your situation. You have to keep moving, crawl if you have to. But move towards your destiny because it’s waiting, and you have to go and get it.

Source: BBC Africa

Learn Naturals Ways Of Conceiving Twins: How To Increase Your Chances

Naturally conceived twins occur in about 1 out of every 89 births. Under normal circumstances, your odds of conceiving twins are slim. Taking fertility medications or undergoing a procedure like IVF can increase your chances of conceiving twins, but you may be curious if there is anything you can do to naturally increase your chances of having twins


How are twins conceived?
Most twins are fraternal. Fraternal twins develop from two separate eggs. Identical twins are rare and happen as a result of just one egg which splits sometime in early pregnancy. Fraternal twins are conceived when two eggs are released during ovulation whereas identical twins are more of a random fluke.


Can you increase your chances of having twins?
Yes, there are some things that will increase your chances of having twins, but some of these things are really out of your control. Having a family history of twins will increase your chances of having twins. This is true if you have a family history of twins, meaning someone on your mother’s side or father’s side of the family has had twins, especially if they had fraternal twins. If your partner has twins in his family, it doesn’t help you any. The reason being is that there may be some genetic component that may cause you to produce more than one egg during ovulation. This “twin gene” may be passed down from your parents to you. Identical twins are not thought to be hereditary.

Other factors that may affect your chances of having twins are your ethnicity and your age. African American women are more likely to conceive twins than Caucasian women. And, Asian women have a lower chance of conceiving twins. Twins are also more common in older women.
Natural ways of increasing  your chances of having twins:
1.  Take a folic acid supplement: There have been a few studies on the link between folic acid and conceiving twins. One Australian study found that women who took folic acid before they got pregnant were more likely to conceive twins. In fact, according to this study, you may have a 40% or greater chance of conceiving twins if you take folic acid while you are trying to conceive. Some other studies have shown contradictory results making it hard to say for sure if folic acid actually increases your odds of conceiving twins. Nevertheless, folic acid also helps to prevent neural tube defects so it is a good idea to take a folic acid supplement (or a multi vitamin with folic acid) even if you aren’t trying to conceive twins.

2. Gain weight: A study published in the March 2005 issue of Obstetrics & Gynecology found that women who were overweight had a higher chance of having twins. Women who were tall also had a higher chance of having twins.


3.Eat dairy products: According to a recent study by Dr. Gary Steinman, a physician at Long Island Jewish Medical Center who is well known for research on multiple birth pregnancies, women who eat dairy are five times more likely to conceive twins than women who don’t. Dr. Steinman’s study compared women who ate a regular diet with vegan women and vegetarian women who consumed dairy products. Vegans appear to be less likely to conceive twins according to the study. But, it may not be so much that consuming dairy increases your chances of having twins; but rather, that consuming milk or other dairy products from growth hormone treated cows increases your chances of having twins.

4.Continue breastfeeding: If you are breastfeeding and would like to conceive twins, you may want to hold off on weaning your little one. According to one twin study, women who were breastfeeding when they conceived were nine times more likely to conceive twins than women who are were not breastfeeding.

Ladies!!! Beware Of Guys Claiming Womb Shifters

Obviously the poster is vexed. Seen on olumofins page

Beating Is The Only Language My Wife Understands. Nigerian Journalist Boast

 Nigerian photo journalist Francis Abigan on Teusday, accused of beating his wife to a pulp, said battery was the only language he use In communicating to his wife.

 Francis who works with  Business Day newspaper said Joy his wife of 10 years had made life difficult for him since he brought his sick mum to live with them at ifo ogun state. Francis added that the reason for bringing his mum home was because there was no one to cater for her considering the fact that she has stroke.

Since then his wife hated his mum to the extent that

 she starves her  and subjects her to all kinds of inhuman treatment. He said  'I hired a help, who cooks for my mother. My wife was seen dragging my mother on the ground calling her a witch'

My wife went ahead to threaten the cook I hired not to come. The church had organised several meetings for us they begged her to change but she refused. I endured all along but could not bear the last one she did to my mother.

 Abigan who admitted on telephone that he beats up his wife,said he could not endure the way the woman treated his mother...

Port-harcourt Big-boy Celebrates Birthday By Feeding 1,000 Prisoners

This Man Was Generous Enough, He  Remembered The Inmates While Celebrating His Birthday. Our Saviour Jesus Christ also spent His life ministering to the poor in spirit and downtrodden. He said : “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me” (Matthew 25:40, see alsoverse 35). Today He still calls to us to follow Him in serving those who suffer. We are to feed the poor, clothe the naked, and visit those who are in prison.

Why I went wild! Omotola speaks on sex scenes in movie 'Alter Ego'

Speaking with PREMIUM TIMES,Omotola opens up about her career, marriage and playing a controversial character in Alter Ego.

PT: You went off the scene for three years. Was this deliberate?

Omotola: Yes it was. I knew I was going to embark on a break so I starred in a few movies, which have not been released. I shot Blood on the Lagoon with Teco Benson, and another one in London called Amina, which are yet to be released. I got to that point when I felt like nothing was challenging me anymore and I began to feel like my standard was dropping. I went through that period and I knew I needed to stay away and wait for Nollywood to catch up with some of our ideas.

PT: Your fans can’t stop talking about your s*x scenes in Alter Ego. Was your husband comfortable with you playing the role?

Omotola: Some of the s*x scenes in Alter Ego were downplayed because I’m married. But I won’t play the s*x scenes if it wasn’t necessary to be included in the film. I know by starring in this movie that my fans would either hate me or love me forever. While shooting the film, I knew I was doing something quite risky.

There are several ways to shoot a s*x scene tastefully. I’m all for playing a s*x scene convincingly and my husband knows this. I tell my husband,

“You know what darling, you married an actor”; and secondly, he is my biggest fan. I tell him, “Do you want me to be great or do you just want me to be good?” He will say, “I want you to be great, sparklingly great”. Then I’ll say, “Ehen, we go love o” and he’s fine with it. He understands but just like every other human being and the professional that he is, he too wants to be convinced that I played a s*x scene because it was necessary. I know when he watches movies sometimes he would say, “Did they have to kiss if they were not going to kiss well?”

PT: You got pretty raunchy with your co-stars in your latest movie, Alter Ego. Are you ready for viewer’s criticisms?

Omotola: When I wasn’t even confident, I starred in a movie called a prostitute, which was released 22 years ago. If I didn’t die then, is it now? I’m ready.

PT: Playing a believable s*x scene would mean going extra lengths. Do you think Nigerians will embrace such films?

Omotola: You don’t even have to “chop” somebody’s mouth if you don’t want to. If the scene is not about you showing real mad crazy love then you can’t now be showing mouth to mouth kissing or removing of clothes.

In Nigerian movies, we have downplayed chemistry. I hope we can bring that back. Back in the day when I shot Mortal Inheritance in 1995, I had to spend time with my co-star, Fred Amata. He was already a renowned director and in those days, directors were revered. So imagine, my director who had directed me in a movie prior now acting as my lover.

I was really afraid but we broke the ice by spending time with each other. So, he demystified himself and we had chemistry and you could tell. So, I’m hoping all of this returns to Nigerian movies. So, as professionals, we need to ask ourselves if it is necessary for a movie to have a s*x scene and when it is, it should be done well.

PT: With regards to Alter Ego, how were you able to build some on-screen chemistry with your co-star, Wole Ojo?

Omotola: I was working with Wole Ojo for the first time, so we had to spend time together and we played very rough. I understand the power of being friends with your love interest in a movie so we became like a couple.

We ate together and basically just broke down the walls to make sure we were both comfortable with each other and have each other’s backs and interest at heart. So, it spilled into the movie without you even noticing.

PT: Alter Ego appears to be the first Nollywood movie to truly address Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Do you think it would appeal to the Nigerian Nollywood audience?

Omotola: We don’t talk about PTS that much in Nigeria, so, when you see someone that is mentally traumatised, the first thing that comes to your mind is, “this person is crazy!”. We don’t talk about depression in Nigeria. We don’t talk about how it affects children, especially those that have been abused.

When you ask a lot of adults, you might find out that some people have been abused as children. And if we want to tell ourselves the truth, how many of us were actually able to tell our parents about this?

In Africa, it’s always a taboo to say, “uncle, somebody touched me”. They will practically ask you one million questions. “What did you say to him? How were you sitting? What were you wearing?” As if it’s your fault, you become the victim. Alter Ego sets out to address how s*xual abuse affects victims as kids and as adults.

Sometimes, you see people as adults behave in a certain way, but because we have not diagnosed this problem – because in Africa, you are either just crazy and should go to Yaba Left; but we don’t think about the fact that people actually have psychological trauma and that PTSD actually affect Africans. We think it’s an Oyibo disease.

PT: Why were you drawn to Alter Ego?

Omotola: It’s the soul of the movie. It must come quickly in a movie and must also be underlining throughout the film. Some come naturally while some don’t. The movie got me on time because I switch very quickly; so if I read through the first 10 pages of a movie script and I don’t get the story, I get bored. I loved the film from the beginning but it was a diamond in the rough. I knew what was lacking in it. So, I called the director and told him we will have to tear the script apart and rebuild it and he gave me his nod. It takes a big mind to shoot Alter Ego.

Source info ng

Dangote Hangs out with Friends Aboard Private Yacht

Africa's Most Successful Business Man Aliko Dangote
Celebrates the Id- Elfitri Alongside friends on his private yacht. In the picture is  Micheal Otedola, (Chairman of Forte oil Plc)Donald Duke,(Former Gov Cross Rivers State)Segun Awolowo, (C.E.O Nigerian Export Promtion Council)Tunde Ayeni, (Lawyer, Business Magnate,and Investor) Sam Nwajoku,( and Niyi Adebayo(Former Ekiti state Governor)

Our Pastors Are Rogues! Why Are They Moving Around With Armed Personnels? Yomi Fash-Lanso

Yoruba actor yomi fash-lanso in a recent chat condems Nigerian pastors. He said "our pastors go about with armed personnels and I ask myself a question, who wants to kill or kidnap a pastor? His he not a Man of God?

They know what they are doing is not good,if not they would not move about with armed personnel. I was conferred as a Deacon in my church few years back but it will no stop me from talking.

If they go around with armed personnel because of the wealth they seem to have, how did they come about the wealth? Is it not from our Tithe and Offering? They cannot try it in America

A pastor in South Africa is rotting in jail because he molested underage girls. Am sure that if it were in Nigeria we will not hear anything. Nothing will happen because we have built our society around people and not laws it is wrong.

Nathan in the Bible went to King David to convey God's message without any fear or compromise But our pastors can't do so. We are in this mess in Nigeria because our pastors are not talking

If we are going to count the true Men of God in Nigeria,they would not be up to two among the thousands that we have. Only a few of them can look in the eye of the corrupt Men in government and speak the truth because they would not want to lose their wodly possession

They know all the rogues we have in government, the people that are putting us in total blackness. These people attend their churches but they are not talking to them which means that these pastors are thieves and rogues as well...

Until we start speaking the truth from the church, we are not going to make any Headway in Nigeria.''

See The Soldier That Was Involved In Kidnapping Victims Alongside Evans

Nigerian Woman Promoted To A Major In U.S Army

Nigerian woman Dr Grace Onwinje was promoted to a Major in the U.S Army.

Teenage pregnancy is prohibited in Tanzanian schools

Tanzanian President John Magufili has banned teenage pregnant girls from returning to schools. He disclosed this while addressing residents of Chalinze Bagamoyo District in Dar es salam on Thursday. He added that young mothers are always distracted in class and further allowance of such, would encourage other girls to engage in sex.

 BBC quoted the president saying "only girls at the university level are allowed to get pregnant without penalties attatched"

Kim and kanye are having baby No 3

Kardashian West has long made it clear on Keeping Up with the Kardashians that she wants another child – even though her doctors have warned her about the health risks of carrying another baby because she suffered from placenta accreta during her last pregnancy. Placenta accreta is a condition in which the placenta grows into the wall of the womb and prevents it from easily detaching at the time of birth.

“My doctor had to stick his entire arm in me and detach the placenta with his hand, scraping it away from my uterus with his fingernails. How disgusting and painful!!!” Kardashian West wrote in her blog about giving birth to her first child while dealing with the condition, which she said affects five percent of women giving birth. “My mom was crying; she had never seen anything like this before. My delivery was fairly easy, but then going through that—it was the most painful experience of my life! They gave me a second epidural but we were racing against time, so I just had to deal.”

SOURCE: KIM KARDASHIAN INSTAGRAM

The couple, who wed in May 2014, are already parents to 4-year-old daughter North and 18-month-old sonSaint.

“I’d just love nothing more than to expand my family and just know that I have this world at home that’s safe,” she said on the reality show.

“And if for some reason I left this earth sooner than I really wanted to, then my kids would have a support system at home so that I know that they would be okay if I wasn’t here.”

The 36-year-old reality star said being the victim of a robbery during Paris Fashion Week in October only made the urgency greater.

KIM KARDASHIAN/INSTAGRAM

Kardashian West underwent a procedure to help her become able of carrying another baby if she chooses to, but it doesn’t work.

“I can’t carry anymore kids … it’s the worst,” she told close pal Jonathan Cheban. “It’s not going to be happy for me.. I had a full break down … I give up.”

The mother of two began considering a surrogate after two doctors told her it would be unsafe for her to get pregnant again. She also spoke to a mother who used a surrogate in addition to giving birth herself to talk about her fear of not loving the child the same.

“I’ve come to the conclusion in my mind that I can’t carry another one. So now I want to explore surrogacy,” Kardashian West told her mother, Kris Jenner, on the show.

Kimye have reportedly hired a surrogate and the deal will estimatedly cost $113,850 TMZ reports that she will get $45k in 10 monthly instalment of $4,500. Also stated in the contract that should the pregnancy produce more than one child, the surrogate will receive an additional $5k per extra child $10k for twins,triplets etc.if the surrogate loses reproductive organ during the process she will be paid $4k.

I won't have you ridicule my mom, not anymore says Churchill's brother

Churhill's younger brother breaks silence over the marital crises the families are faced with. In a post on his instagram page, he reacted to the viral message Tonto dike reputedly sent to his mom .