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Queen Aramide Sekinat Olori Elegushi. Beautiful Olori Sekinat Elegushi is the wife of the Oba of Ikate land, Oba Saheed Elegushi. In an Interview with Nony En Nwankwo for punch, talks about life as a queen and the role she plays in her husband’s kingdom
Some say life begins at 40, do you agree with this general opinion?
I don’t really subscribe to the cliché that life begins at 40. The notion is a 20th century one. Lately, I have observed that many Nigerian women in their 50s exude such amazing youthfulness that one is quick to profess that 50 is the new 40. However, I will not deny the fact that it feels awesome to turn 40, because 40 is one of the best numbers you get in a lifetime of birthdays. It is a great age. A 40th birthday is a watershed for anyone.
The trajectory of one’s life changes, not all at once, but gradually to a new phase. People in their 40s come into their own. They are more assertive and confident. They know what they want, and are not afraid of taking charge of the happenings of their lives.
As a young girl, did you ever imagine you would marry an Oba?
No, I never imagined I would marry an Oba. Besides, I didn’t marry my husband as an Oba. He was an upwardly mobile, charming young man, with great prospects and aspirations when I met him. Those were some of the qualities I saw and admired in him back then. He was a prince then, but he didn’t wear it as a badge of pride. He was just a man, brimming with a bright future and great dreams.
And if I have to be honest here, I was less-thrilled about that aspect of him being a prince when we met, and I wasn’t that keen on falling in love with him. But fate has a way of playing tricks with our emotions, and my husband made it easier for me to fall in love with him. With time, I was able to overcome my initial reservations about him. I took my time to study his person and I discovered I loved him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Even after we got married, I never envisaged that my husband would be entrusted with the role of a king. But God is always supreme with making His plans for us come to fruition, and He is the sole decider of who becomes a king.
Do you still dress the way you used to dress before you became an Olori?
I still dress the way I used to do before I became an Olori. Nothing has changed about the way I dress. Perhaps, the only slight change that I have injected into my dressing pattern is that I can no longer leave my hair bare. I have to cover it with a headgear or turban most of the time. There is no stipulated condition, under which the wife of an Oba is expected to dress. But it is very important for an Oba’s wife to conduct herself with decorum and dignity and to dress with elegance, while remaining conservative. Also, I have to opt for traditional outfits most of the times. Other than that, I still wear my jeans, my jumpsuits and other casuals.
You studied Accounting, would you have wished you worked in a bank?
Yes, I really wanted to work in a bank. Working in a bank or a finance house is the immediate plan of every Accounting graduate. And it wasn’t any different in my case. I really wanted to work in a bank because I thought bankers had plenty of money at their disposal. But somehow, I ended up working in my father’s company as an accountant, and I was able to garner a wealth of experience while working there.
As a young girl, did you ever imagine you would marry an Oba?
No, I never imagined I would marry an Oba. Besides, I didn’t marry my husband as an Oba. He was an upwardly mobile, charming young man, with great prospects and aspirations when I met him. Those were some of the qualities I saw and admired in him back then. He was a prince then, but he didn’t wear it as a badge of pride. He was just a man, brimming with a bright future and great dreams.
And if I have to be honest here, I was less-thrilled about that aspect of him being a prince when we met, and I wasn’t that keen on falling in love with him. But fate has a way of playing tricks with our emotions, and my husband made it easier for me to fall in love with him. With time, I was able to overcome my initial reservations about him. I took my time to study his person and I discovered I loved him enough to want to spend the rest of my life with him.
Even after we got married, I never envisaged that my husband would be entrusted with the role of a king. But God is always supreme with making His plans for us come to fruition, and He is the sole decider of who becomes a king.
Do you still dress the way you used to dress before you became an Olori?
I still dress the way I used to do before I became an Olori. Nothing has changed about the way I dress. Perhaps, the only slight change that I have injected into my dressing pattern is that I can no longer leave my hair bare. I have to cover it with a headgear or turban most of the time. There is no stipulated condition, under which the wife of an Oba is expected to dress. But it is very important for an Oba’s wife to conduct herself with decorum and dignity and to dress with elegance, while remaining conservative. Also, I have to opt for traditional outfits most of the times. Other than that, I still wear my jeans, my jumpsuits and other casuals.
You studied Accounting, would you have wished you worked in a bank?
Yes, I really wanted to work in a bank. Working in a bank or a finance house is the immediate plan of every Accounting graduate. And it wasn’t any different in my case. I really wanted to work in a bank because I thought bankers had plenty of money at their disposal. But somehow, I ended up working in my father’s company as an accountant, and I was able to garner a wealth of experience while working there.
You are also known to be a philanthropist, is it in your nature or is it just a way to help people in your kingdom?
I will hesitate to describe what I do as an act of philanthropy. It is just my humble way of giving back to the society. We are in an era, where most people are driven by the urge to be socially responsible to humanity and one’s immediate environment. In the past, charitable giving wasn’t focused enough on the poor and the needy. Besides, it used to be an exclusive preserve of the very rich. But things have since changed. People are getting more sympathetic towards supporting the needy. You don’t even have to have millions of naira to support people who are in need. I must say that I am impressed by how Nigerians have become more charitable and supportive of worthy causes. My husband and I are united in the act of giving back to the society mentality, and we strive to show this as often as we can.
We run an education trust that is responsible for children’s education within the Ikate Kingdom. My husband and I are custodians of arts and culture. It is an avenue through which we support a number of artists. I am a huge fan of the renowned Nike Art gallery. In my own little way, I seek to advocate for women and youth empowerment. I am also actively involved in the International Women’s Society (IWS) Skills Centre in Ikate. The centre has trained thousands of students. Last August, we had our 17th graduation, where over 120 people graduated.
You are regarded as one of the youngest queens in Lagos, how is your relationship with other prominent queens who may be older than you?
My relationship with other queens is cordial. With some, it is close-knit, while with others, it is cordial. I enjoy a daughter-mother relationship with other queens who are older than I am. They show me love and care, genuinely from their hearts.
Does being a prominent Oba’s wife come with its challenges?
Being the wife of an Oba does come with its challenges. Marriage itself comes with its baggage of challenges. No union is perfect anywhere in the world. Most women find marriage an insurmountable challenge in itself, without the additional pressures that being an Oba’s wife must bring. However, I believe that there is no challenge that is insurmountable. There were some challenges at the initial stage when my husband became a king. But, with a lot of patience and perseverance, I was able to overcome those challenges.
You are regarded as one of the youngest queens in Lagos, how is your relationship with other prominent queens who may be older than you?
My relationship with other queens is cordial. With some, it is close-knit, while with others, it is cordial. I enjoy a daughter-mother relationship with other queens who are older than I am. They show me love and care, genuinely from their hearts.
Does being a prominent Oba’s wife come with its challenges?
Being the wife of an Oba does come with its challenges. Marriage itself comes with its baggage of challenges. No union is perfect anywhere in the world. Most women find marriage an insurmountable challenge in itself, without the additional pressures that being an Oba’s wife must bring. However, I believe that there is no challenge that is insurmountable. There were some challenges at the initial stage when my husband became a king. But, with a lot of patience and perseverance, I was able to overcome those challenges.
When my husband became king, initially it was strange not having access to the man I married whenever I wanted. There is a Yoruba saying ‘Kabiyesi ni oko Ilu’ ( the king is the husband of kingdom). I realised that he is there not just for his immediate family but the kingdom as a whole, realising this helped me to understand my role better as an Olori. I can only support him, pray for him to be a better king and assist my people in anyway I can.
